Yoga Teacher Training
/YTT Final Paper - By Anna Drakely
When tasked with writing this paper, I pushed back and resisted the best I could for the daunting connotation I had attached to it. Taking a step back, however, and taking a moment to realize how far I have come and what walls I have knocked down to get here, I finally understand the purpose is not to stress me out nor scare me into a self-deprecating state of mind. Instead, the purpose in this final assignment is to re-visit the key elements I have learned and embodied throughout my Yoga Teacher Training journey. Presented within this essay is my perception of the three books we have studied and key aspects of each book that continue to stick with me in my yoga practice.
The first book I chose to divulge into is The Essential Yoga Sutra, by Geshe Michael Roach and Christie McNally. I have decided to bring this book to light first, although studying these concepts at the end of our teacher training course, because the sutras that I aligned with open me up to a vulnerable state which is where my yoga journey begins.
“21 – Beginning Obstacles – I.30a: Obstacles occur when the mind is distracted, and this can be caused by illness, fogginess in the mind, having doubts, carelessness, and laziness…”
Although I am blessed to have never faced personal illness, I have experienced injuries that have ultimately changed my perspective on different aspects of life. This passage is explained with the idea that although difficult and non-ideal, illness can actually be an inspiration and bring about a lightness and form of positive perception in the end. I personally align with this thought after stumbling upon my own obstacles of tearing my ACLs three times. Although a rather repetitive obstacle and more of an annoyance than pain, I finally can look back and realize that these obstacles happened for a reason. I am finally aware of all the lessons brought along with my injuries, the knowledge I learned on the field and the realization that I have a passion for teaching people, whether it be a coach on the sidelines of the field hockey field, or in the yoga studio teaching in the front of the room. By being injured constantly in my collegiate career, I was able to take a step off of the field and for once, see the field from a coach’s standpoint. I was able to answer any and all of the questions thrown my way from my teammates coming off the field. I was able to be as much of a presence that I once was on the field, off the field. This whole idea that illness can ultimately align us to positive outcomes is where I fully align my journey and my identity.
“22 – Ultimate Obstacles – I.30b: …And by mistaken views of the world that are left uncorrected, failing to reach specific levels, or not being established in them firmly.”
The part of this passage description that stuck out to me was the concept of our “worldview.” Growing up I was always taught to smile and be polite, to bring a positive outlook on the world around me. As a child, I followed along with these practices because I just wanted to do as I was told, and I am so thankful that I did. In today’s society there is so much negativity and pain attached to people’s view on the world. No matter what your political views or thoughts on life are, it feels as though someone will always disagree and make you doubt yourself and question if you have a correct view on how you believe life should be. But this is where kindness aligns, why smiling is so important today, just as it was when I was a kid. When I go out into the world, stepping in front of our Manipura community, I remember to smile, I remind myself the teachings of this particular sutra, “True yoga is the search for a worldview that actually works to bring people happiness.” This idea has completely opened my mind to the importance of my smile, the value my kindness has on my own worldview. By being the best version of myself and presenting that to all the people around me, I take one step further into aligning my yoga practice into my daily practice of life.
Transitioning over to the next book involved in my Yoga Teacher Training experience is the staple of Baptiste Yoga itself, Journey Into Power, by Baron Baptiste. As silly as it may sound, the first part of this book that stuck with me was in the preface. I found that this quote spoke to me in different ways from when I had first started this training to now, having been an instructor for over a year.
“Ultimately, no yoga teacher can tell you what you need—not in a pose, not in a diet, not in a lifestyle. They can give you the principles, but it is up to you to use your intuition to find what is right for you. You have to practice your own naturalness, and that is what Baptiste Power Yoga is all about” (Baptiste, 16).
From a student’s perspective, I saw this as a self-reflection moment, how when I step onto my mat, it is not the instructor’s job to tell me how to think or how to breathe or what I am supposed to get out of their practice, but instead, they are there to guide me through my practice, guide me to explore my own self-expression through each pose, through each breath. Now, looking back at these words after spending the past year teaching, I see this as a reassuring notion to myself to be proud in my practice and be okay with not having all of the answers or knowledge I constantly felt pressured to have as an instructor. So often I find myself critiquing my teaching style and going back to my words and voice and saying things like “well what I said didn’t make any sense” or things like “no one is going to take me seriously.” I find myself questioning my own authority or professionalism, are people really going to listen to the words of a 24-year-old? By taking a moment to re-visit these words from Baron Baptiste, I receive the acknowledgement that I have been searching for that it is not my job as the instructor to give people the exact practice that they need nor say the precise words that will resonate in every student. This passage has shown me that my only job is to provide guidance for all of my students, to open the door to self-reflection and meditation, to provide a space where minds are to come to stillness and to help the yoga students leave my class full of pride and a genuine sense of self-worth.
One other part I found in Baron Baptiste’s book where I could really align myself to was in the section about Control vs. Surrender. A quote that really resonated with me was as follows: “Don’t come as you are, come as you are supposed to be.” This is eye-opening to me. I am very much a Type-A personality. I am a perfectionist, to simply put it. When I am constantly living in fear of not having my self-expression and mental happiness “mastered” I feel as though everyone will call me a fraud or find it pointless to choose me to guide them in their practice. But after reading this quote and reading Journey Into Power, I feel a weight lifted off of my shoulders that I had unnecessarily been carrying, yoga is not to be “mastered” and you do not win at yoga nor self-assurance, the whole goal of yoga is to try and be better than you were before. The goal is to just strive to constantly become a better version of yourself and that is a concept I have embodied throughout my yoga journey.
“It’s worth the little inconveniences” (Birch, 25) is the biggest lie I have ever told myself throughout my entire field hockey career. This quote comes directly from Power Yoga by Beryl Bender Birch. This quote stems from the passage titled “All Sports Injury Is Caused By Imbalance.” Initially this section of the book stuck out to me because as I stated previously, I know about sports injuries all too well. What was intriguing about this section is from first-hand experience I know how real this concept is. By over-abusing the body to constantly train for a sport, you deliberately favor one side over the other, causing a severe imbalance in your body. From this imbalance and lack of awareness/no disregard for the consequences, comes injury. Anyone can tell an athlete what could happen if they over do a drill or motion or do not properly recover and stretch but it doesn’t matter, an athlete spends their life training, a simple what-if will never stop them. Then you get into the greater threats, how once injured, if you continue to abuse your body in the brutality of your sport and regimented training schedule, you risk the chance of permanent problems or disabilities. Speaking from personal experience, I was told by the head athletic trainer at my college that if I continued to play field hockey I would risk the ability to ever pick up my future child. Did that stop me? No. Of course it didn’t. It was a mere “potential” risk in my mind. I had the National Championship two weeks away, I didn’t care what “could” happen as a result of me playing, I was going to play regardless. The result, we lost, honestly probably would’ve won if I didn’t play. I also blew out my meniscus and pushed my body through extreme pain that looking back at now, I did not need to put myself through. After reading this section, it all makes sense now. Everything I put myself through and my stubbornness was spelt out for me on the pages in front of me. Now that I am an instructor and I have totally switched over to practicing yoga endlessly and feeling the benefits of yoga, I can now acknowledge how ridiculous I once was. I thought field hockey was my life, it was a big aspect of my life, but it did not define me as a person. If I had been more open-minded and laid off the training and focused on incorporating yoga more into my life, maybe things could’ve gone a different way. Ultimately however, asking what-if’s causes nothing but regret. Seeing where I was as a person to who I am now is truly enlightening. I can finally feel good in who I am as a person and see how far I have come and how much I have grown into being a healthier, happier and much better version of myself.
All three of these books have opened my eyes to the insecurities and self-deprecating tendencies I had thrown upon myself my entire life. I constantly felt like a failure and felt defeated when the one thing I soared to my highest level at ended from injury. By engaging in this teacher training program and bringing the practice of yoga back into my life, I have let go of the insecurities, totally abolished the failure mentality, and instead, I spend every day focused on being the best version of myself. Yoga has taught me a lot about myself and becoming an instructor could not have come at a better time. I was in search of self-worth and something to strive towards and I am satisfied to say that I have found exactly that. Yoga has unlocked so many good things in my life and has allowed me to release so much pain and regret, I am genuinely excited to watch my yoga practice and teaching continue to grow and get better throughout my life.
Anna Drakely - Yoga Teacher
